Sacred Threads I: A Tapestry of Motherhood

“The history of every human being passes through the threshold of a woman’s motherhood.”

— St. John Paul II, Mulieris Dignitatem

Motherhood. This topic has been poked at and prodded in countless ways. It has been revered, romanticised, and at times, disparaged. Yet, it remains a rather obviously crucial feature of human existence. What makes motherhood so significant? Why do many women still choose to become mothers, even in a world that fiercely values independence and self-fulfilment? How does motherhood contribute to the betterment of society? Does one have to have biological children to be a mother? Is it indeed a privilege? These are just a few of the questions that arise when discussing motherhood.

This essay-blog series will explore the privilege of womanhood and the value of motherhood from a catholic [sic] perspective while acknowledging the diversity of experiences and choices women face concerning motherhood.

So, if motherhood truly is a privilege, why is it so difficult? There are certain things we intuit within our current culture that point to this truth. Consider some of the emblematic achievements in contemporary culture, the Olympian, the Nobel prize-winner, and the virtuoso musician. Undoubtedly, they achieve greatness, but the cost to oneself and others can often be dear. It emerges, then, a rather obvious relationship between the difficult and admirable. It is the significance of this connection that lay at the core of my preliminary question and subsequent reflections on motherhood. To state it plainly, though the pursuit of motherhood is costly and complex, it still remains a privilege.

It appears to me to be relatively uncontroversial to say that there are distinct feminist undercurrents that would rebel against this very sentiment. I’ll highlight some of the more extreme forms here:

1. Motherhood is an unwelcome interruption or even an inevitable disruption to the pursuance of a meaningful and purposeful career and can even leave women disadvantaged in the workforce

2. Motherhood inevitably leads to the erasure of one’s uninhibited feminine identity

3. Mothering is an unjust division of labour and an unwelcome domestic burden lain upon those unfortunate enough to be born with a uterus

4. Motherhood is just one more example of how the patriarchy is left unaddressed and that the rejection of motherhood is somehow speaking truth to power

For many, delaying or rejecting motherhood is less politically motivated.

1. For some, the ambition for child-rearing simply isn’t present

2. For others, the financial question looms too large, or even the question of with whom they would have a child with is left unanswered

3. For some, the choice is medical or even psychological

Whatever the reasoning, my contention is this. Motherhood is a privilege, and denigrating and marginalising the sacred call to motherhood is detrimental to our culture. In the same breath, to elevate motherhood to the status of an idol and fixate solely on an idealised version of it where we forget the transcendent purpose of our existence, we risk diminishing the proper depth and richness of our humanity. Motherhood, though magnificent, is not an ultimate destination, nor an end in and of itself - rather a sacred part of a greater whole. The vision of motherhood stands tall in the Christian tradition, and there are many thoughts to be shared regarding its nature. Let us cherish and honour the vocation of womanhood and motherhood while remembering that our identity extends beyond it—encompassing a rich journey toward the divine. By keeping our hearts open to this vision, we can truly appreciate the profound beauty of motherhood without reducing it to a mere idol. As C.S. Lewis aptly observes in his Mere Christianity,

“He [the devil] always sends errors into the world in pairs - pairs of opposites. And he always encourages us to spend a lot of time thinking which is the worse. You see why, of course? He relies on your extra dislike of one error to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not let us be fooled. We have to keep our eyes on the goal and go straight through between both errors. We have no other concern than that with either of them.” [2]

In the sections below, I will outlay the position of privilege afforded to women as the sole recipients of the child-bearing nature and highlight the significance of this sacred calling for women. Next, I will explore the impact of motherhood on culture and highlight some of what lies at risk if this calling is disregarded. Finally, I will explore some of the deficiencies within the recent trends of feminism to undermine and even destroy the sacred call to motherhood before closing with some remarks concerning difficulties surrounding loss, conception, and female singleness. Conversely, I want to speak to the notion of these often over-idealised portraits of motherhood. It is my hope that this essay blog series will re-evangelise the vocation of motherhood and be an occasion for discussion and reflection, not offence and animosity. I pray the words I write here are true and reflect the general shape of the church’s teaching, and as such, that they may lie in “harmony with the most secret desires of the human heart”[2] and that you, as my reader can attest to their validity by honestly reflecting on your own experiences.

Part II: Womanhood as a Privilege and Motherhood as a Calling.

[1] C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 1952, 2001 Reprint, New York: Harper Collins,186.

[2] Second Vatican Council, "Gaudium et Spes: Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World", 21 § 7.