Sacred Threads II: Womanhood as a Privilege; Motherhood as a Calling

“The most important person on earth is a mother.”

— Cardinal Joseph Mindszenty

Welcome to the second part of this series, which I'm calling Sacred Threads.

If you've not read Part 1, I encourage you to do so here.

Preamble

Let’s address the question of whether being a woman is, in fact, a privilege. In 2002, Dr. Alice von Hildebrand published a monograph titled The Privilege of Being a Woman, which has sold many copies and been translated into multiple languages, becoming a highly popular work. Its title, however, is less so. In today’s culture, the idea that being a woman is a privilege is contentious, to say the least. Nevertheless, I believe a compelling argument must be made for its recovery. One that would help our culture see the vocation of feminity and motherhood in much broader terms. One that has the potential to help restore motherhood and femininity to their rightful places in our societies and bestows upon them the honour they deserve within our lifetimes.

Defining Privilege

Recently, the word privilege has undergone an incredibly dynamic evolution in usage. The English word privilege originates from the Latin privilegium, which, like all languages, experienced a development in usage. Originally used to refer to or denote a “private law or bill” or a “law for an individual”, it underwent a shift in the post-Augustan era to mean “ordinance in favour of an individual, privilege” usually bestowed upon a person or a group for a specific purpose. [1] As we can see from just this example, the term privilege was often used to refer to the special right or favour granted to a person or group, either by law or by favour.

In today’s parlance, the use of the word privilege is evocative, even controversial, and often it connotes the special rights and advantages that rich and powerful individuals in a society have, often over and above those who are marginalised, oppressed or have less upward socio-economic mobility—usually, straight, white male Christians. A brief Google search returned one such definition; I could not have written better myself from Rider University, a Liberal Arts college out of Lawrence, New Jersey.

"Privilege" refers to certain social advantages, benefits, or degrees of prestige and respect that an individual has by virtue of belonging to certain social identity groups. Within American and other Western societies, these privileged social identities—of people who have historically occupied positions of dominance over others—include whites, males, heterosexuals, Christians, and the weathy, among others. [2] (Typo, not my own...)

Now, I could suggest a stack of reasons for the change in this word’s usage, but this is not the place. I would imagine it quite uncontroversial to say that there appears to be a distinct Marxist-Engelian undertone to the whole endeavour. However, if this term is to be recovered for use, it is important to see a divine or at least natural law as the source of this privilege and as such, it is essential for the task of embracing human complementarity and defeating the insidious enemy of competition or struggle between the sexes. For me, this natural lawgiver is God.

The Supernatural Necessity

Von Hildebrand writes that “in order to understand the greatness of a woman’s mission, we must open our minds and hearts to the message of the supernatural. It is the key that will reveal to us the greatness of femininity”[3]. In other words, there’s no point discussing the greatness of the so-called sexus sequior (second sex) if God is not in a dialogue partner.

Women play a unique and essential role in cultures across the world. Nodding to St. Teresa of Ávila, von Hildebrand argues that it is, in fact, women who possess qualities and virtues that are distinctly feminine and that are necessary for the well-being of individuals and communities. She argues that women are generally more responsive to God’s voice and capable of heroic self-donation – an essential aspect of motherhood.

In a 1995 Letter to Women, Pope John Paul II spoke of the ‘genius of woman’.[4] This unique capacity of femininity, he writes, is a gift from God. It flows out into the world and occupies the myriad contexts where women find themselves – wives, workers, sisters, daughters, nuns, and mothers! Following the riverbed dug by Pope Pius XII, John Paul II proclaims that women have a special calling to nurture and care for others. [5] Through their receptivity, sensitivity, generosity, and maternity, which I’ll discuss below, women have a particular sensitivity to beauty and a unique capacity to appreciate and cultivate it. Women bring beauty into the world through their deeds and actions, their relationships, and their way of being. You may have heard this quote attributed to Edith Stein, “The world doesn’t need what women have; it needs what women are.” The quote from her Essays on Woman 6 is actually “The children in school…do not need merely what we have but rather what we are”, emphasis in the original. Stein was deeply involved in and actively chose to facilitate an environment in which her ‘feminine genius’ could flourish. John Paul, like Stein, was a kind of essentialist in his refusal to dissociate the biological from the spiritual dispositions of women.

If you have the time, these letters and encyclicals are a gold mine for rich theological and pastorally insightful reading for both men and women.

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The Feminine Genius

Let us take for a moment the four aspects of a woman’s genius: receptivity, sensitivity, generosity, and maternity. I want to explore them briefly and, in doing so, provide a sketch of the argument that it is indeed a privilege to be a woman and discuss what is at stake if we eradicate this notion from culture.

Receptivity

The first step in understanding the feminine genius is bolstering our understanding of receptivity or what you might otherwise call openness.

Let us take Mary’s fiat (the Latin for ‘Let it be done’) as the highest point of this virtue. In response to Gabriel’s message from God, Mary prayed the words, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word.” She is Eve and herself at once. Tilted towards both heaven and hell. Rebellion or obedience. But Mary responds to God with humility and faith, consenting to God’s will through faith, not cool rational adjudication. Mary’s receptivity enabled the Word to become flesh, changing the very course of history and the fate of humanity. About this, Cardinal Mindszenty writes,

She cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral -a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby’s body. . . The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. They cannot share in God’s creative miracle to bring new saints to Heaven. Only a human mother can. Mothers are closer to God the Creator than any other creature; God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation. What on God’s good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother? [6]

A woman’s receptivity is not just emotional or spiritual but biological. A man provides the seed, a woman, the womb – a garden open to receive and nurture life. This is basic, sure, but it is the complete picture of humanity on display. As the creation story in Genesis 2 shows us, our masculine and feminine qualities reveal how our humanity can only truly be understood in relationship to and polar correspondence to each other.

In contrast to this view of receptivity, modern Feminism[7] often champions an intense independence and self-reliance. It so often aims to affirm the goodness of a woman’s capacity to stand alone through the disruption of a woman’s body and her identity. This is a profoundly troubling move with a distinct Cartesian flavour that is lacing many of the world’s ideas today. However, receptivity can exhibit not only vulnerability but also a profound openness to divine guidance and graces. In secularist feminist circles – I’m thinking of voices such as Simone de Beauvoir, especially her later works[8] – there is even a resistance to acknowledging the need for spiritual guidance or recognition, much less a reliance on a supernatural authority. For many feminists, the notion that receptivity of this nature could be a good cannot be avowed. Sadly, many of these impulses exist in feminist hermeneutics and theology today.

Sensitivity

In tandem with this receptiveness lies sensitivity, otherwise called nurturing or intuition. Mindszenty articulates this sensitivity by describing a woman in such a manner,

She does not tend to acquire knowledge by a long process of thought, but rather embraces it in one intuitive act. Man is influenced by truth, but woman by the eternally beautiful… Her nature is as sensitive as a magnetic needle which trembles at the approach of the slightest electric current. A small pleasure, a slight sorrow, yes, even its very suggestion can arouse deep feelings in her soul. Her lively power of imagination can affect her hope and fear far more than man’s.”[9]

In this frame, sensitivity is relieved of its connotations of weakness and imbued with a sense of strength and honour. In his Letter to Women, John Paul II writes, “Perhaps more than men, women acknowledge the person, because they see persons with their hearts. Turning to Stein again, she reminds us that women “have ears for the softest and most imperceptible little voices” (Essays on Woman 134).” It is precisely a woman’s sensitivity and intuitiveness toward life that has led many women to be forerunners in the fight against so-called 'sex work', domestic violence, exploitation and the like. This sensitivity, when it is calibrated to the voice of the Holy Spirit and nurtured by people, will reveal how perfectly a woman is able to respond and tend to the deepest needs of the human condition.

Sensitivity can coexist with strength, and it doesn't diminish a woman's capacity for learning, leadership, or advocacy; rather, it is the rudder with which the ship is steered.

If we lose sensitivity, the world goes numb. (A friend of mine wrote a brilliant article about how this numbness can manifest itself in the life of new mothers - well worth a read) The point of numbness or narcotisation is to stop one from feeling. Imagine a society wherein one could see all kinds of evil and malady, but due to the diversity of competing concerns being foisted upon women, these evils were left unconfronted and the maladies untreated. There exists today a strong current of pressure for women to avoid being perceived as emotionally delicate or even irrational. For women to pursue education or careers for competition’s sake, only to see that their deeper, intuitive goals were never truly met, or in fact, they were achieved but found lacking. Sensitivity can coexist with strength, and it doesn't diminish a woman's capacity for learning, leadership, or advocacy; rather, it is the rudder with which the ship is steered.

Generosity

The fruit of receptivity is generosity, otherwise defined as charity or selflessness. In Mulierius Dignitatum, John Paul II writes, “A woman’s dignity is closely connected with the love which she receives by the very reason of her femininity; it is likewise connected with the love which she gives in return.” The two are profoundly connected and correspond to one another.

Let us look again at Mary’s example. She visits Elizabeth despite being pregnant herself. She is sensitive to the needs of others. That sensitivity is carried forth into action by her love for her cousin. At the wedding of Cana, Mary is sensitive to the well-being and potential shame facing the young couple, and she is moved by love to ask Jesus to be generous toward them. At the foot of the cross, where Jesus’ closest disciples have abandoned Him, there Mary is found. In that wretched hour, Mary opens herself to pain and suffering in order to generously support and freely offer her son her unwavering love.

Understanding generosity as the primary fruit of receptivity and sensitivity helps draw us towards the mystery of motherhood. A mother is generous. Generous of flesh, of time, of presence. With this in mind, let us turn to the final aspect: maternity. It should be noted that none of the women we’ve heard from have actually mothered any natural children. Neither Alice, St. Teresa, nor Edith had any biological children, but this did not stop them from writing profoundly impacting and offering deep reflections on femininity and motherhood. When received alongside the message of the supernatural, one especially significant aspect of this feminine genius emerges – the rather obvious yet mysterious call to motherhood.

Feminism, at its best, has often focused on two broad factors: the affirmation of both women's and men’s dignity and the defence of when perpetrators would seek to violate that dignity. Note that this is exactly the vision of the church. This focus – often born of the fruit of sensitivity – has helped countless people in vast and innumerable ways. Feminist contributions to the eradication of segregation laws in the USA, the pursuit of justice for sexual assault victims, and pursuance of workplace equity are all, of course, essential aspects of a just society. However, at its worst, Modern Feminism demands one adopt a profoundly individualistic stance that privileges personal interests and ambitions over and against the collective good.

Chief among this personal interest frequently lies in the realm of so-called ‘reproductive rights’. The issue of abortion lies at the centre of this discussion, and so it should. Everything rises and falls on how you engage with the subject of life and love. However, all too often, those who would seek their own autonomy wish to do so by crying aloud, “This is my body, so it’s my choice”. I will leave my comments on this matter here, though I wish to say more and close with these words from Jesus in Luke’s gospel account: “This is my body, which is given for you”. These words from Jesus place the highest possible significance on the importance of self-giving and love-driven generosity toward others.

Everything rises and falls on how you engage with the subject of life and love.

Maternity

This final aspect of womanhood is a culmination of these aspects. Speaking biologically, women are exceptionally gifted with the capacity to accept the human being in its material form. It is this singular feature—which prepares her for motherhood not merely physically but also spiritually and mentally—that is inherent in the divine natural order of God, who entrusted the human being to woman in an altogether unique manner. John Paul II again,

“It is commonly thought that women are more capable than men of paying attention to another person and that motherhood develops this predisposition even more. The man - even with all his sharing in parenthood - always remains "outside" the process of pregnancy and the baby’s birth; in many ways he has to learn his own "fatherhood" from the mother.”[10]

However, motherhood is not restricted to biological maternity. It also encompasses spiritual maternity. I believe this understanding of maternity is at risk of being lost altogether from our culture. It certainly isn’t as prized as it once was. There are people throughout our lives who are desperately seeking a mother. Seeking a safe place to learn about what it is to be a daughter, a sister, a mother, a grandmother. Yearning to discover what it means to be called into discipleship as a female and what it is to understand a woman’s body and their unique experiences. A mother, biological or not, is the true essence of femininity.

While it's important to acknowledge the valuable contributions of countless women who devoutly follow their faith and either opt not to become biological mothers or face circumstances preventing them from doing so naturally, there is a prevailing tendency to underestimate or even scorn the importance of motherhood.

Whether it's celebrity bemoaning the pressure to become a mother or risk being pitied by her peers and adoring fans, or well-meaning clinical psychologists peddling their book about feminine wholeness absent of maternity, or an outright idealistic assault on motherhood from academia, the notion that one’s response to the privileged call to maternity is inconsequential is absurd and even dangerous.

Another referent to which many point out the latent disadvantages for women or the outright privilege men hold is the Gender Pay Gap debate. I’m not under any illusion that my thoughts will settle this debate, but we can at least see how the unique privileges afforded to women in childbirth and rearing are subjugated to the economic capital a woman must forgo to do so. A brief flick through de Beauvoir’s or Firestone’s work will acquaint you with more than enough material to make this point large: 'Motherhood is oppression, not a privilege.'

On my view, however, maternity is seen as a sacred and irreplaceable vocation that contributes to the flourishing of society. It is my view that we need to appreciate the unique role of mothers in nurturing and shaping the future and help them combat the insipid vision of womanhood gushing from virtually all corners of contemporary society. I genuinely find it boring, uncompelling and weak.

Closing Thoughts

In his Evangelium Vitae, John Paul II emphasises this gift women have been entrusted with. “In transforming culture so that it supports life, women occupy a place, in thought and action, that is unique and decisive.”[11] Just as Mary’s fiat was unique and decisive, might it be so for women in our culture once more? Might we heed von Hildebrand’s warning that “when piety dies out in women, society is threatened in its very fabric, for a woman’s relationship to the sacred keeps the Church and society on an even keel, and when this link is severed, both are threatened by total moral chaos”[12] You might think this to be thinly veiled alarmism. Still, I like to think of it as simply taking God at his word and refusing the patronage of this world and its meagre values. Which are, at best, a dim shadow of the biblical vision of human flourishing and redemption.

Might we not merely snicker at Chesterton’s quip, “cleverness shall be left for men and wisdom for women”[13], but rather lean into what that actually reflects about creation? Without a supernatural reference point, the harrowing noun known as ‘privilege’ will continue to run roughshod over our relationships. Without the retrieval and appropriate honour of the feminine genius, our culture will continue its heading toward the denigration of women through Feminism, the continued diminishing of their unique contributions to our culture and the stifling of a vision of pious femininity that ultimately emulates the life of Christ Himself. Ignoring these modern developments is passively condemning our culture to a gloomy fate – one that believes and embodies the lie that being a woman is not a privilege but an injustice.

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Forthcoming: The Christological Act of Motherhood.

[1] An example of this range of use is present in the letters between Pliny and Trajan, wherein Pliny is thankful to have been granted the same privileges (special favour) as those who have three or four children in their family (private laws). See Pliny the Younger. Letters, Volume II: Books 8-10. Panegyricus. Translated by Betty Radice. Loeb Classical Library 59. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1969.

[2] Melissa Hofmann., “Research Guides: Privilege and Intersectionality: What Is Privilege?” Guides.rider.edu., 2018. https://guides.rider.edu/privilege. 8

[3] Alice von Hildebrand., The Privilege of Being a Woman. Naples: Sapientia Press of Ave Maria University, 2007, 15.

[4] John Paul II, Letter to Women, encyclical letter, Vatican website, June 29, 1995, https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/letters/1995/documents/hf_jp-ii_let_29061995_women.html

[5] See Pope Pius XII’s address to the World Union of Catholic Women’s Organizations in 1957.

[6] Joseph Mindszenty., The Mother. Literary Licensing, MI: USA, LLC, 66.

[7] By ‘Modern Feminism’ here, I am referring to its usage in Mona Charen’s Sex Matters: How Modern Feminism Lost Touch with Science, Love, and Common Sense.

[8] De Beauvoir wrote vehemently against the notion of the metaphysical and its import for women precisely because metaphysics imprisons woman in her status of the ‘Other’, refusing her access to the actual status of humanity, that of autonomy and freedom. I am grateful to Julia Kristeva’s work for this insight.

[9] Mindszenty, 5.

[10] John Paul II, Mulieris Dignitatem, Apostolic letter, Vatican website, August 15, 1988, https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost_letters/1988/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_19880815_mulieris-dignitatem.html

[11] John Paul II, Evangelium Vitae, Encyclical letter, Vatican website, March 25, 1995, https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_enc_25031995_evangelium-vitae.html

[12] Alice von Hildebrand., The Privilege of Being a Woman. Naples: Sapientia Press of Ave Maria University, 2007, 84.

[13] Gilbert Keith Chesterton., What’s Wrong with the World. Binker North, 148.